Weirdly Sexy Schneider
by bonesmad
Summary: The stress of the quinceañera behind her leaves Penelope free for new thoughts.
1. Chapter 1

She watched as it sparkled and glinted in the light as she looked at it. She wondered briefly if it would ever be worn again for a wedding, or a future quinceañera. Placing the tiara carefully in its box she shook her head dispelling those thought for another day. She shut the lid and moved off the counter sighing deeply.

It was early in the morning, but she couldn't even think of sleep, rising she quietly made her way to the bedrooms, Alex half hanging out of his bed mouth open, sleeping deeply. Eleana and Carmen wrapped tightly in blankets not making a sound, and her mother practically passed out on Penelope's own bed still in her dress, and abnormally disarrayed. She looked so exhausted Penelope could bring herself to wake her and get her to her own bed.

She smiled and walked back through the living room, carefully avoiding the various family members sleeping there and making her way to the door. It was all over. After all that planning and stress it was all over. She'd had to deal with the fall out tomorrow but for now she could relax.

Just as she thought that there was a light knock on the door.

"Hey Pen" a familiar voice whispered.

"So much for relaxing." She rolled her eyes sarcastically as Schneider let himself in. "You do know it's three in the morning."

"I said I'd come check in on the family. See if anyone was awake."

She placed a hand on her hip and stared up at him.

"How often do you do that? 'Cause that's creepy."

"First time. I promise." He grinned down at her then his brow furrowed. "Maybe second. There was this one time I was lonely." He gazed off to the ceiling. She just shook her head.

"All sleeping." She smiled.

"Except you?" he looked down at her again.

"I got too much sleep last night! I could go another ten hours." She laughed. "Besides my mother has taken over my bed."

"But she's so tiny."

"I know, but the woman can spread." The both laughed only to stop suddenly as one of the cousins stirred. Schneider grimaced then gestured upstairs. She smiled and nodded following him out the door.

"So why are you up?" she asked as they walked through the door of his apartment. He shrugged.

"I rarely sleep by night. I can sleep during the day."

"And wake in time for dinner?"

"Eh no!..." he puffed up his chest. "...I would never miss lunch with Lydia."

Penelope rolled her eyes again and flopped down on his couch.

"Of course, you wouldn't. You are there more than I am."

Schneider went quiet, sitting in beside her. She looked up at him and saw an abnormally serious look cross his face.

"I like it there." He said almost inaudibly.

Her heart melted and a smile spread across her face. She reached out and placed her hand on his.

"We like having you." She replied.  
He looked down at her hand and she could see a slight smile forming on his face too.

Realising the moment had gone on a fraction too long, Penelope pulled back her arm, looking at the space between them.

"Thank you for all you're help tonight. I don't know if I said that."

"You did, and you're welcome. How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm angry." It was her turn to shrug. "I'm happy Eleana enjoyed herself despite her father's selfishness." He nodded. "I'm sad my little girl is growing up and I'm proud she's so sure of herself."

Schneider's nodding had slowed down.

"Basically, I'm a hot mess." She laughed. "But thanks for asking. I'm sure it's more than you've asked most of the woman here at three in the morning."

"Hey…" he started then realised there was no point. "… you are not wrong." He nodded as they both began laughing.

"This is nice though, having someone to talk to." She conceded.

He just smiled as her eyes narrowed.

"Why did you shave?" she asked leaning in closer to him.

"Girl are you joking? It was important family event I couldn't turn up looking scruffy! I'm lucky my casual and formal personas are as devastatingly handsome as each other."

This time she almost hurt herself rolling her eyes.

A silence fell over them, a comfortable one that came with that hour in the morning. The silence was broken by Penelope yawning loudly.

"You should get some sleep. You do still have family around tomorrow."

"You're right. Lots of Cubans to feed." She smiled and stood up.

"I'd offer you a bed here but I really don't want to get on Lydia's wrong side."

"Very kind but I need to go to my own room to get myself out of this dress. It will not be graceful."

He stood up moving towards her

"Can I help?" he offered before really thinking about what he was saying. She was stunned for a second, the thought of Schneider taking off her dress was not the most unexpected thing to happen that day.

"No… no I'll be ok." She nodded furiously, suddenly very aware of how bare her chest was as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Goodnight Schneider."  
"Goodnight Pen."

/ \\\ / \\\ /\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"I'm going mad." She said taking a gulp of her drink. "Completely mad."

"Alverez what are you on about!" Jill asked slamming her drink down on the table.

"Yeah are you going to tell us or just freak out all night Mami?" Ramona raised a perfect eyebrow.

Penelope looked between the two of them, eyes widening.

"I can't… no I can't you'll think I'm crazy!" she threw her hands up in frustration and covered her face.

"Hey you've been acting weird since we collected you. this is meant to be a night out to celebrate surviving your daughter's quinceañera and to forget what a jackass your ex is! Not to freak out." Jill smiled at her, trying her best to calm her friend. Ramona just reached out and took her arm.

Taking a second Penelope took a deep breath and tried to clear her head.

"Is it Victor?" Jill tried again.

"No…" Penelope smiled weakly. "…it's his choice if he wants to ruin his relationship with his daughter. She knows I'm here for her and she is loved."

"Then what is it?"

"I…" she huffed once more. "… right have you ever looked at someone and just see them differently? Like for months no years you see them one way in this perfectly defined category in your life and then… and then one night you just…"

She looked up to see both of her friends looking at her with completely puzzled faces.

"Eh… What?" Ramona broke the silence.

"You're going to think I'm crazy. This is not what I should be thinking about right now. He's… uh!"

Jill gasped.

"Oh my god." She sat back, grinning. "You've got feelings for that haircut!"

Penelope felt her cheeks heating up and her hands moved to cover her mouth.

"What? Who!" Ramona was now only more confused.

"Schneider!" Jill burst out laughing.

"Finally!" Ramona joined in.

"What?" Penelope was now even more confused. "I thought you two would think I was crazy. It's Schneider! Schneider!" she elongated the name as she repeated it slowly.

"I know!" Jill nodded. "That old hipster wannabe."

"The one that does everything he can to make you and your family happy?" Ramona's grin was off the charts.

"The man child that eats our food! The rich boy that plays in an awful band wearing glitter! The man with a different woman in his bed every few hours…." She started ranting.

"The man that can't take his eyes off you when he thinks you're not looking." Jill said solemnly.

"What?" Penelope's pitch raised. "No… no way… you think?" she felt the grin grow again.

"Alverez focus." Jill snapped her fingers. "what's happened."

"Nothing! No nothing's happened." She took another gulp of her pink concoction. "The night of Elena's quince I couldn't sleep and he called down to see if we were all ok. So we went to his apartment to sit for a bit and I just…."

"You slept with him?" Jill attempted to finish the sentence.

"No! I told you nothing happened. We just talked. But something… something changed." She took a deep breath "I wanted him to kiss me" She admitted earnestly

"So why didn't you kiss him?"

"Are you no hearing me correctly. It's Schneider! What self-respecting woman would… you even said it the day we met!"

"I know but I didn't know the guy behind that embarrassing pen stunt then."

"Look I don't have much experience with men." Ramona started as the other two laughed. "But from what I've heard this guy loves your kids, actually fixes things around your house and isn't a bad looking specimen. What's the problem?"

Penelope took a second to think over what she'd said, then finished her drink re-evaluating her earlier crisis.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\


	2. Chapter 2

"Pen?" her eyes focused slightly, the coffee before her coming more into view. "Penelope?" she shook her head slightly and looked up.

"Schneider!" she gasped. "What…. when did you get here?"

He looked at her puzzled.

"I was here when you came in. You poured your coffee came in and sat down, it was…well it was really trippy."

"Well clearly you're here too much then if you're blending in with the furniture." She snapped eyebrows raised.

"Hey P no need to snap! What's got you all hot and bothered." He leaned towards her with genuine concern on his face.

"it's… it's nothing." She forced a smile. "Just tired."

"Yeah must be a relief having all the family gone." He nodded, sitting back. "As I spiritually believe myself to be Cuban I believe I can say this…" he paused dramatically. "…Those people were loud."

Despite herself Penelope felt a laugh escaping her. He gave her a slightly startled smile in return.

"Have…" he started cautiously. "Have you heard from Victor?" The happy bubble they'd formed burst.

"No. I haven't got my temper under control enough yet. Alex has spoken to him. But he hasn't rang Elena yet."

"I don't understand how…" he stopped himself.

"How?" she put her cup down.

"How he could have done that to her." Schneider said softly. "Leave her standing waiting like that."

Penelope's heart tightened.

"He's an old-fashioned army man." She sighed. "not that it's an excuse… but I can't hate him for it."

"You're a better man than me." Schneider said absentmindedly. He caught the look she threw him. "Well of course you are. You're a woman." He fluffed awkwardly.

She rolled her eyes and took a long sip from her coffee.

"Is it…" she started slowly. "…is it wrong that a small part of me thinks all of this may have also been a good thing."

He looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"I'm not with you there Pen…" she stifled a laugh.

"I know it sounds crazy. It's just… I think somewhere in my head I always believed that he would get better, or that things would change over time. But now I know, they really wont. He doesn't want them to. Not really. He wants to keep pretending everything is fine and… and that were a happy family." Very quickly her mouth was running away from her. "He wants me to welcome him back with open arms despite the danger he puts everyone in, and now I know for sure, that I can't."

He didn't speak, just watched her as this realisation washed over her.

"Maybe now. After all of this. I can finally move on with my life." She said softly.

"Well then. I guess there must be some good in it." he nodded. "If it makes your life… more your own."

"Why Schnieder, I do believe that is the most enlightened thing you've ever said to me." She joked, earning a smile.

"So… would you like me to download that dating app again?" he picked her phone up off the table. She reached out and took it back off him.

"Eh… no I think I'd like to do it the old fashion way." She said slowly.

"What? Like from a newspaper add?" he said

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"No like meet someone by chance, get to know them and then… one day… realise you've developed feelings you never thought you would." She said, hands playing with her chain as she realised she may be saying too much.

He leaned back in his chair and nodded thoughtfully.

"Ok… old school. I get it. I don't get why you'd want to do it when there's so many people right there on your phone ready to…"

Penelope's heart sank slightly.

"Of course, you don't. Because I don't just want to text someone and have a one-night stand Schneider. I want a relationship. And I happen to believe that that doesn't come from swiping through pictures." She snapped, rising from her chair, and going back into the kitchen. "Some people want more than just sex at one in the morning when they're bored, or because it's a Tuesday!" She continued not hearing him following her.

"Hey I know that! What's with the aggression!" he said, causing her to jump when she realised how close he was. "You don't need to attack." He continued hands raised in defence.

"I'm sorry… it's just… I…" she looked up at him.

"Some people may not be looking for long term relationships, but it doesn't mean you need to disparage an entire community." He attempted a joke, but his hands were still raised.

"I didn't mean to. I just… I want someone I can sit on the couch with at the end of the day and moan about what ever happened at work. Someone I can completely trust to pick my children up for school or feed them or help with their homework…" she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. "You don't want that?" she finished quietly.

"I… I guess I've never really thought about it. I didn't exactly have the stable family example"

"Yeah, yeah I know your sob story. Rich boy no love." She grinned at him.

"I guess having one-night stands is just easier." He said ignoring the jibe. "Less risk"

She suddenly realised how close to her he had moved, there was barely a step between them now.

"I hear you." she nodded. "I was lucky with Victor we met when I hadn't even considered risk. There was nothing to hold us back. Now everything is harder. The more heartbreak you face the tougher it is to try."

"Also. Casual sex is great." He grinned widely. She couldn't help but laugh.

"If you say so." She rolled her eyes.

"You mean you don't know?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Course not. Can't have casual sex when you've been married for as long as I was."

"But you were seeing that guy?" her eyebrows peaked, and she squared up to him.

"I wasn't seeing him that long. I don't sleep with a guy in the first few dates."

"No one's saying you have to be, but you should try it once in your life."

"I'm not going back on the apps. No matter what you suggest."

"You don't need it, if you put those signals out Pen they'll be falling at your feet." He smirked at her. She moved slightly closer to him having to look up as he towered over her.

"Is that so? And what signals are they? High heels and red lipstick?"

"I'm pretty sure all you need to do is to lose the "Touch me and I hurt you" vibe." She slowly uncrossed her arms and unpursued her lips, but didn't back away from him. "There you go. Irresistible…" he muttered as they stared each other down.

"Sch…" she started as he dove down and captured her lips with his. Their height difference only encouraging him to pull her as close as possible almost immediately as she melted into his embrace.

He was just about to lift her up onto the counter when a voice chilled both their blood.

"Eh Schneider, are you here?" Lydia called as the front door opened.

Penelope has never moved to the other side of a room faster.


	3. Chapter 3

She crossed her legs and leaned back on the couch.

She huffed slightly and bit the inside of her lip. Looking towards the door she sharply turned around again.

Standing up momentarily she straightened her top down, then sat back down again.

"No… I can't" she said shaking her head and crossing her legs the other way.

"Are you ok mami?" Penelope jumped out of her skin as Elena appeared at the end of the couch.

"Yes, of course!" she smiled forcibly.

Elena stared down at her, her own arms crossed.

"What have you done?" her daughter raised her pitch slightly.

Penelope let out a shaky laugh and sat forward.

"Listen to you! I haven't done anything." She patted the couch beside her. "Sit down. How is your essay?"

"It's all done now. I sent it to Carmen, so I'm just waiting for her thoughts." She said joining her mother on the couch.

"Oh well done. I'm sure Casper the friendly ghost will have great insights." Elena just rolled her eyes. "When does it have to be in."

"Not until next Friday."

"Very good." She nodded rapidly, hoping Elena would forget she had been acting strangely.

"Have you seen Schneider today?" Elena asked, and Penelope felt her stomach tighten.

"No. No of course not. Why?" she replied way too quickly. Elena peered at her keenly. Suspicion growing again.

"He collected a book for me from the other library and I thought he'd bring it down for dinner, but he didn't come."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe he had something come up. Maybe he remembered he is meant to look after all of the apartments in the building." She laughed nervously.

"Hmm." Elena opened her mouth to continue when her phone chirped. "Hey Carmen…." She said before wandering off without even a second glance to her mother.

"Oh, thank God." Penelope sighed and leaned back in the couch again.

She closed her eyes and thought back to what had happened earlier in the kitchen and she felt her neck redden with the thought.

" _I'm here Lydia." He called back, as she furiously wiped her mouth for fear of lipstick smudges._

" _Ah Schneider. I thought I heard you. I have not made dinner yet. You are early." Her mother said coming into the kitchen._

" _I know, I came for coffee. I… I was out." He said grinning widely._

" _Did Penelope give it to you?" she asked, as Penelope coughed madly._

" _Yep." He smiled at her, trying not to laugh as Lydia moved around the kitchen between them. "She did alright." Penelope shot him her sharpest of glares._

" _Good, good. Now get out of my way I must cook." Lydia waved her hands dismissing them out from the kitchen._

" _Yeah, I should go, I need to change some bulbs downstairs before dinner." He said moving swiftly across the living room to the door, opening it and raising his eyebrows at her._

" _Oh, that reminds me I wanted to talk to you about bulbs..." she said a little too loudly and followed him out into the hall._

 _As she closed the door behind her and turned around he instantly pressed her up against the wall and kissed her deeply._

 _She slowly reached up and grasped his shirt pulling him even closer, until suddenly it felt like lightening struck and she pushed him away._

" _No!" she said sharply. "What are we doing! This is crazy."_

" _Pen I…" she shook her head and hid his face from view with her hands._

" _We need to forget this happened…."_

" _Twice." He interjected. She squared up to him quickly and pointed._

" _Not another word!" she practically bared her teeth._

She shook her head and covered her face with her hands.

"Ahh…." She stood up and took her hair down fluffing it slightly. "Mami?" she called out.

"Yes?" she replied from the kitchen.

"I'm going to go meet Jill. Is that ok?"

"Of course mija, have fun." She smiled as her mother's waving hand appeared in the doorway.

"Right then I'm doing this." Penelope said quietly to herself.

"What did you say Lupita?" Lydia come out into the living room.

"I'm going!" she said moving quickly towards the door before she lost her nerve.

"Don't you need your bag?" her mother raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes of course. I yes." She grabbed her things and throwing a smile. "Night mami."

"Goodnight." Lydia said dragging out the _eye_ sound, both eyebrows now raised, though it went unnoticed by her daughter.

She knocked rapidly on the door and stepped back again quickly. Her heart was racing and she had changed her mind around twenty times. Yet something wouldn't let her go back downstairs. Maybe it was from what Jill and Ramona had said the other night. Maybe it was just a phase. She just knew she had to see it through. She knocked on the door again.

"Coming!" a shout came from the other side of the door. "Pen…"

"Schneider." He looked truly surprised to see her.

"Come in." he said standing back for her.

"I know it's late but I…" she started babbling almost immediately.

"Hey chill girl!" he said laughing as she sat on the couch.

"Could you not talk like a teenager for two seconds." She said with a strained grin.

"Sorry." He said sitting beside her. Her mind went back to a few nights previously when they'd been sitting in these exact same positions. "Pen…"

"Shh" she said softly as she leaned forward and kissing him deeply before he could speak again.

It only took a second before he reciprocated, responded eagerly wrapping his arm around her. Her hands made their way up his back and into his hair as he pulled her even closer towards him until he was pulling her onto his lap.

Completely lost in the moment she lifted herself up and swung her leg over him, pressing her chest against his. It was only when she absolutely had to stop to take a breath that she realised how amazing it felt.

She looked down at him panting lightly, her curls falling curtaining them both. Her heart thudded as she took in his wide earnest smile and his kind blue eyes. His chest was heaving silently as he reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Well. What got into you boo." He said grinning widely. She rolled her eyes.

"Someone suggested I should try casual sex and I realised it was a good idea." She said in a low voice leaning in to kiss him again, revelling in the way his stubble scratched her soft skin.

She slowly pressed herself down harder on his lap getting more unabashed by the second.

His hands gripped her hips firmly and he suddenly pushed her back.

"Hey Pen, Pen hang on." he said as she tried to reconnect. "Hang on a second."

She lost all courage as she saw the serious look on his face.

"Oh god I'm sorry. I shouldn't have presumed. I…" she started as she moved off him. "I not like the girls you normally…"

"No, no it's not that!" he interjected quickly taking both her hands and pulling her back towards him. "You're right you are nothing like the girls I normally…see." He continued. "You're ten times more important than them."

She froze stunned.

"I don't… I don't want to fool you into thinking this is casual sex. Because it's not." He couldn't look her in the eye now. "Because you mean something to me."

A slow smile spread across her face and she cupped his face in her hands to lift his face back up to her. His vulnerability and honesty send a wave of electricity through her.

"You mean something to me too." she whispered as he smirked.

"Well ok then, get over here boo." She groaned dramatically and pulled him sharply down on top of her.


	4. Chapter 4

"Woah…" he said softly lying back against the pillow. He looked over at her as she pulled the duvet up around her, she sat back against the headboard.

"Yeah" she said uncertainly, avoiding his gaze.

"Pen" he reached out and took her hand. "What's wrong?"

"I can't believe that just happened…" she whispered.

"Really? I thought we were heading this way for a while now." He said shrugging.

"What?"

"Don't you remember the first time we met, I tried to hit on you? Over the years we've just been getting closer and closer to this." He smirked. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist this forever." He gestured to himself. "May-December thing remember?" She groaned and slapped him with no real intent. She rested her hand on top of his and stroked it with her thumb as he laughed. "I knew you'd bring that fire to the bed room."

"Wow my standards have lowered." She laughed, finally looking up to him. "So, every inappropriate comment you made, you were…" she trailed off.

"Ruthlessly flirting."

"I am… oddly flattered."

"I'm glad to hear it boo." He said leaning in to kiss her bare shoulder. "So glad…" he muttered as he continued his path of caresses.

"Uh you are a little too good at that…" she moaned. "…don't make any smart comments about having a lot of practice or I'm out of here." She said more sternly.

"I am not saying a thing that could make you leave this bed." he said in a deep tone that made her stomach flip.

* * *

"Mami why are you doing that?" Alex asked sceptically from over his eggs.

Penelope froze on the spot, coffee pot in hand.

"Doing what?"

"Humming." The teenage boy said with such scorn you'd think she had committed a crime.

"Do I need a reason to hum?"

"This early on a Saturday, yes." He said plainly.

"I am just happy _papito"_ she leaned over and kissed the top of his head.

"Hey, watch the hair!" he said fixing the non-existent mess.

"Oh sorry!" Penelope laughed.

"I have to agree you are in a very good mood." Elena added.

"I think you had a good night." Lydia called out from the kitchen. Penelope felt her blood run cold.

"What Mami?" she said in a strangled voice. Her mother breezed into the room with a plate of extra eggs.

"It looks like you had a good night with Jill?" her mother continued, and she relaxed minutely.

"Oh yes. Great night, you know few drinks lots of dancing." She laughed, dancing on the spot. "You know your Mami still has moves."

"Please. Stop" Alex said, horrified. She smiled and kissed his cheek quickly.

"Ok why are you so happy?" Elena put down her fork, staring at her mother pointedly.

Penelope looked around at them all and took a deep breath.

"If you must know…" she started "…I came to a realisation last night. I deserve to be happy."

Alex just looked more perplexed.

"Good for you Mami. I mean it shouldn't have taken you this long, but any empowerment is good." Elena said encouragingly.

Lydia said nothing just looked on, this began to unnerve Penelope.

She was about to question her silence when the door opened.

"Morning family Alvarez." Schneider said letting himself into the room and taking up his seat beside Alex.

Penelope felt a blush begin to grow on the back of her neck. He hadn't even looked at her and she was beginning to crack. Picking up two empty juice glasses she took herself to the kitchen as everyone greeted him.

She stood staring into the fridge as she thought back to a few hours ago.

* * *

" _I said don't look." She repeated pulling the covers awkwardly around herself as she sat on the edge of the bed._

" _Why not? I've been doing a lot more than looking for the last…" he leaned over and pressed his phone. "…three hours."_

" _Yes, but it's different when you're getting dressed. It's more awkward." She hissed finding it harder to get her bra on than she ever had before. She didn't even notice him moving to sit beside her._

" _God you're beautiful." She turned at the whisper._

" _you actually mean that…" she half-asked as she turned back to him. "… you're not joking."_

" _Of course not." He said._

" _Pen…" he paused. "…what made you come up here last night?"_

 _She looked at him for a second, unsure where this conversation could lead. Where she wanted it to lead._

" _What made you kiss me earlier?" she countered._

" _I thought you wanted me to."_

" _Oh…"_

" _I have wanted to… to kiss you for such a long time, but it never seemed… right." He continued. "It never seemed like you would take me seriously."_

" _It is pretty hard to take you seriously." She said gently, still processing everything. He continued, choosing to ignore her._

" _But today, in the kitchen, something was different. I could tell you had thought about it too."_

 _She just sat in silence for a few seconds, trying to get her mind to slow down._

" _and… what is…_ _it_ _?" she asked slowly._

 _He grinned at her, and she waited for the juvenile response she had come to expect._

" _Something new…"_

* * *

"Are there some eggs left?" Schneider came into the kitchen behind her.

"Too late, Alex got there before you."

"Well I would have been earlier, but I over slept." He moved around the island to stand in front of her.

"Busy night?" she smirked.

"You could say that." He nodded. "I met this woman…" he grinned.

"Oh yeah?"

"…she is amazing. Small and fiery." She laughed.

"What are you two talking about." Lydia said coming into the kitchen with the breakfast plates.

"eggs."

"Fire."

They said over each other, Penelope grinned at her mother as Schneider averted his gaze.

"Eggs and fire. Queeeeeer." Lydia replied.

"Right kids, time to go. Bye Mami, Bye Schneider." Penelope flew out of the kitchen and kissing her children's heads she passed them their bags ushering them out quickly.

"Have a good day _mis amores._ " Lydia called after them. Penelope grabbed her own bag and turned to leave just in time to hear her mother say, "Come sit Schneider, I saved you some eggs."

* * *

Penelope put down the file and picked up her lunchbox just as her phone rang.

"That was just cruel and unnecessary." Said a whispered voice as she answered the phone.

"I am so sorry! I panicked." She replied stifling a laugh.

"We agreed not to tell your family about last night and at the first second you leave me alone with your mother."

"You spend every day with my mother" she said, "Why was today different?"

"Today I had the threat of you cutting off my favourite appendage if I told her we had hot, torrid sex all night last night."

She felt the blood rushing to her cheeks as she looked around to see if anyone in the small office had overheard.

"I will do worse if you ever say that again!" she hissed. "To anyone."

"Hey boo you can't deny it. You tasted the sweet Schneider loving and now…"

"Nope! You need to stop speaking right now." She said, infusing a strong accent to scare him. It didn't work.

"I know you said you don't want to let your family involved but I don't think I can take this pressure." He continued. "I tell Lydia more than I tell any of my therapists. How can I keep it from her that her wildest dreams may come true?"

"Her wildest dreams?"

"Eh me officially in the family." She smiled as she pictured his exasperated expression.

Her whole body froze as she realised she was standing in the middle of her work place smiling as she thought about Schneider. Had she fallen for Schneider?

"Pen?" he said interrupting her revelation.

"Sorry I'm here. Just don't get too ahead of yourself. We haven't even talked about last night yet." she said trying to bring some balance back to her mind. She was very aware of the pause in the conversation from his end.

"How about I come and meet you after work. There's this amazing vegan chicken wing pop up right around the corner from your offices."

"You can come and take me for human food." She retorted. "None of your blended hipster mush."

"I can tell already you're going to try and repress the real me Pen." She could hear the smile on his face.

"I better go I told Lydia I would be back for lunch."

"I'll see you later then." She said quietly.

"See you then." She could still hear the grin that was obviously on his face


	5. Chapter 5

"Well. This is… well I don't know what this is. But this is good. We can talk things through"

The restaurant was incredibly busy, she could barely hear herself think over the chatter around her.

"I think it's important we discuss what happened and what we're going to do going forward." She rationalised, mostly to calm herself down.

"Hm yeah." He nodded picking up his cutlery.

Sitting at the small table with her food, across from this man guzzling his own food down she realised how normal they must look amongst this see of people. Two people sharing a meal. A couple out for dinner.

"Schneider…" she said softly. "Schneider!" he looked up, a speck of tomato sauce clinging to his beard. She noticed him looking everywhere but directly at her.

"Have you tried yours yet? This is the best lasagne I have ever had." He smiled broadly at her.

"Don't you want to talk." She said calmly. He made a fuss of pouring them both a glass of water, drinking his and refilling again.

"Hello?" she continued.

"Yes sorry, sorry this is just so good." He took another bite. "Seriously it wasn't even this good that time I was in Italy. Although I can't really remember Italy that well…."

She sighed, her jaw starting to clench at his obvious distraction.

"Don't you think this is important." She said through near gritted teeth. He continued to eat avoiding he eyes. She leaned in. "Don't you think I'm important?" she ripped her napkin off her lap and putting it on the table got up and left the restaurant.

His head snapped up and gesturing to the waiter he rushed out after her, spaghetti dripping down onto his shirt.

"Pen!" He shouted at her fast moving form. "Penelope stop." He said catching up to her thanks to his much longer strides. She stopped, shoulders heaving and turned to look at his sorry figure. "Do you really think I don't think this is important?"

"Well you weren't taking things too seriously just now."

"You are the most important person Pen! Can't you see I terrified. This is it! If I mess this up I'll have nothing left." She stood staring at him. "Not only if will I loose your family but I'd loose my best friend."

"This is it?" she repeated softly. He smiled lopsidedly and took her hands.

"I have never imagined my life with anyone else. Ever since I got sober… properly… no other woman has made it into my plans for the next week. Except you."

"Schneider…"

"Look I love you Pen. Pretty sure I always have. I'm not entirely sure to what extent yet and I know that might be a bit much just yet… but if you're worried enough to storm out on the best Italian food I have ever had… you need to know."

She smiled and reached up to wipe the sauce from his chin.

"You're right. It's way too soon to be talking like that you goof." She said following it up quickly with "But I can see us getting there. someday."

His grin got even wider than before if it was possible.

"So Penelope Alverez. Will you come back on our date with me?" he said looking towards the restaurant. "I hope you say yes because I left my phone in there."

"Woah, you really are serious!" she said laughing taking his hand in hers.

"As a heart attack." He kissed her temple.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"Good morning e'Schneider." Lydia grins at him as he opens the door. "where were you last night? We missed you at dinner."

"I was out with a friend." He replied not missing a beat. "How did your book report go Alex"

"How queer. Lupe was also out with a friend." She said talking over Alex.

"Ok… so?" he said taking a swig of his coffee.

"She has not been out this often with a friend in a long time."  
"Doesn't she deserve to have some fun!" Eleana interrupted this time.

"She deserves to not keep secrets from her mother."

"She's a grown woman. Let her have friends." Schneider shrugged.

"Maybe it has to do with her realisation." Alex offered.

"What realisation?" Schneider asked, his interest piqued.

"She was really happy the other day and said it's because she has realised she should be happy or something weird." He shrugged.

Schneider felt a grin forming across his face.  
"Do not think I cannot smell a rat." Lydia said, eyebrows raised.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"Right time to go to work." She said drinking the last of her coffee. "thank you for breakfast." She smiled and kissed him softly.

"It was my pleasure. Thank you for lying to your mother about what time you started work."

"Ok ok. I know you don't like it, but please just give me a little more time. I don't want to tell them just yet. it's nice that it's just about us."

He sighed dramatically.

"Ok. If you insist. I just can't believe having to go down the back stairs hasn't made you want to tell them already. I have to admire your resilience."

"It is hard to sneak around in the building you live in."

"Go on. go to work" he said pulling her in for another kiss. "I'm collecting Alex from school today for his dentist appointment. So we'll see you after that."

She smiled up at him. wondering again what took her soon long to realise that all this was waiting for her.


	6. Chapter 6

"Do you think this is what they always talk about in the movies?"

She looked over at him from the couch, eyebrow raised.

"What?"

"This…" he gestured between them "…how much better it is with your best friend" he said like they had been talking about the topic the entire time.

She just sat up straighter and continued to stare at him. he moved slowly to stand behind her.

"You know, all those rom-coms where the girl is having trouble finding love and at the end she realises she was in love with her best friend the entire time, and it is everything she wanted. Now I know what that feels like!"

She rolled her eyes instead of mocking him she hopped up on her knees and kissed him gently.

"Do you remember that chat we had about how somethings you say make me question what in the world I was thinking?" she said as her cupped her cheek in his hand. She watched his face fall.

"Yes…"

"That was basically the opposite." He grinned broadly and kissed her again.

A loud rap on the door startled them both, there wasn't really enough time for them to react before…

"Schneider! Number 3 is saying their dishwaser is broken again can I borrow… Mom?" Elena stopped short in the door frame.

Penelope thought quickly and opened her mouth wide.

"Elena…" Schneider squeaked dropping his hand.

"What's going on?"

"I have a toothache and Schneider was looking to see if there was anything there." she said wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I couldn't see anything." He replied quickly.

"Ooook." Elena's eyebrow raise an exact replica of her mother's a few seconds before.

"What are you doing barging in here like that?" Penelope said trying to flip the conversation quickly.

"I need…"

"Yeah Elena I could have been doing anything." The young woman's face moved to puzzlement.

"But you do it to us all the time."

"Yes, but four of us live in our apartment, we are much less likely to be up to anything… salacious in the living room." Penelope got herself off the couch.

Elena laughed heartily.

"Yeah you and Schneider up to something salacious." She laughed again.

"I'm going to go get you the tool belt." He said quickly moving back to the kitchen.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"morning e-Schneider."

"Good morning Lydia." He said swooping down to kiss her cheek.

"Your breakfast is on the counter." She said waving him off.

"You are the best." He said kissing her again. she smiled and puffer her chest out. "Morning guys."

Alex waved in acknowledgement and Elena smiled looking up from her phone briefly.

Just as he sat down Penelope came out of her room.

"Moring family… and Schneider." She smiled at him sure they were all distracted.

"Morning." Alex replied.

"How is your tooth today?" Elena asked distractedly.

"My wh… oh it's ok actually thank you. I think there must have been something stuck." She said brushing the comment aside.

"What is wrong with your tooth?" Lydia quizzed grabbing her daughters face.

"Nothing Ma." She tried to bat her away. "I just had a twinge yesterday."

"You have good strong Cubano teeth. They do not get twingers."

"I told you it's fine!"

"You need the VapoRub!" Penelope laughed and pulled away.

"I am not putting that stuff anywhere near my teeth! I will be fine. Now I must go to work. Come on kids lets go." She said gathering her bags. "I'll be late tonight Mami, I'm going for dinner straight after work."

"Ok darling have fun!" Lydia waggled her fingers smiling broadly.

As the flat emptied Schneider sat enjoying his breakfast, thinking absentmindedly about just how lucky he was.

"These eggs are amazing Lydia. So good."

"I'm glad you like them, it is a special dish. Family secret"

"I'm not going to ask. But I'm guessing there's some rum involved." He grinned.

"I could never say." She sat at the table opposite him leaning in with a grin. "So e-Schneider. What are you doing today?" her wide smile unnerving him immediately.

"I must do a hard ware store run, Elena has left me a list. And I'm collecting Alex after school to take him to his game." He shrugged.

"And tonight?" she probed.

"I'm going…out" he cursed himself for not thinking quicker.

"Out?"

"With my… my sponsor!" he said nodding wildly. "Why?"

"Just wondering. You have been out a lot lately. And I called to your apartment yesterday morning and it was locked."

"I… I must have locked it." he shrugged.

"It's just…. Lupe has been very 'out' too lately. I thought you might be out together."

She knew he was the weaker one. She knew he'd be the one to crack. He had to get out of there.

"what would make you think that?"

"Ah e-Schneider a mother knows these things."

He could feel a bead of sweat beginning to form at his temple.

"What things. Lydia what are you talking about?"

"The energy is different there is something…. Different." She said leaning into him. It took every ounce of strength he had not to flinch.

"I got a new shampoo?"

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"Penelope, have you seen Mr Boyles test results, I can't remember where I put them."

"I left them beside the phone on your desk." She said gesturing behind her.

"Oh yes. Very good. Thank you"

"Eh hello?" a quiet voice turned her head towards the door. Standing there sheepishly was Schneider, a big grin on his face and a brown bag in his hand. She looked around quickly to check the doctor had left.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed moving towards him

"I'm just dropping off your lunch." He said holding up the bag.

"You… you made me lunch?"

"It's just a chicken salad thing, I fancied trying to make it for myself and had some left over." He shrugged the grin getting larger.

"that is…. Very sweet of you."

"It's just a salad" he shrugged, a slight blush creeping up under his beard.

"You want to come in?"

"You sure that's ok?" he said looking around.

"Yes, Lauren and Scott are out at lunch, might as well."

"I actually saw them leaving. Said I'd better wait"

Her heart wrenched slightly at his words.

"You waited outside until they left?"

"Of course, I knew you wouldn't want them wondering why I was here."

"Schneider.. I'm…" she reached across the table to take his hand.

"Schneider!" Dr Berkowitz came back into the room. Schneider stood up quickly,

"Hi Leslie how are you!? You… you man… standing there right now" he stammered nervously.

"I've been better. I just realised I left my fruit salad on the roof of my car this morning and must have driven off with it there." he said gloomily.

"Oh that's sad."

"Anyway, what are you doing here?" Penelope saw Schneider's eyebrows raise.

"He's here for lunch with me!" she said smiling. Schneider turned to her, confusion crossing his face.

"Oh very nice. Very nice." The doctor nodded "Well enjoy!" he said leaving the room.

"God you're jumpy" she grinned and dug into her food. Schneider grinned and sat back beside her.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\

"Hey hey buddy it's ok, just take a deep breath and calm down, I'm on my way." He said down the phone. "fifteen minutes tops! Promise." He finished hanging up and getting out of bed.

"Who was that?" Penelope asked sitting up.

"Alex" he replied while hopping into his jeans.

"What's wrong!"

"Nothing, nothing calm down" he waved at her. "he forgot the write up for his science project and needs it this morning."

"he forgot it? Why didn't he ring me?"

"I guess because it's in my living room."

"He's never been this worried about forgetting something before."

"He worked hard on this. He's been up here the last few weeks concentrating on it. I'm going to drop it in to him now." He leaned across the bed and kissed her cheek. "I'm also going to go collect those banners for Elena and take Lydia to the optician's, so I will see you after work ok"

He grabbed the last of his things and headed for the door.

"Schneider…" she called, he turned eyebrows raised. "…thank you." he just grinned and kept going.

She sat for a while staring at the door after he had left.

He was running around like a crazy person for her family. She couldn't help but smile goofily.

"Oh no." she said after a few seconds. "I'm going to have to tell them…."


End file.
